Lots have happened in the last few weeks, as you can see I haven’t exactly been posting all that often. I’m here write about what’s happened.
Well, I recently just started a new job, which entails going up to London and consulting on renewable energy finance. I am here because this job was easy to come by, it fell in my lap. It felt like the next logical step. The sad thing is that I guess, its pretty much on a similar kind of feeling vibration to my university degree; I spent much of it in a mild state of boredom.
So I guess now I got to face up to this particular belief. The belief that work, for me is boring. I’d like to change that. For me, as I am learning, its all about what is in your vibration. I am seeing that day in day out. The same kind of traits that I notice in new people, are those of the people I saw in old friends, not all of which I like, but mostly I just spot them, and see what I can do about it.
The case of reaching for the best feeling thought I have access to, is still ever as prevalent I wrote in other posts. Look for that which pleases you, past present and future, and give your undivided attention to it. Sounds easy right? Well no, its a practice. However each day, you will get better at it. That’s what I’m learning. Change, for me at least, is incremental.
Redsparklegirl is having some incredible experiences with focusing on allowing the feeling of love to flow through her. I think that’s what I’m reaching for as well. That only happens when I let go more, and complain less. That only seems to happen when you accept who you, and where you. For me, sometimes it seems I am getting further from where I want to be. I guess, the real truth of that, as I have been preaching is not the case. I am where I want to be.
One experience that showed me this was last weekend. I was at a party where there were friends of my Dad’s, the sort of party where I normally would get bored, and lose my sense of self, by focusing more on what people of thought of me (which I always assumed was fairly mediocre). Having reflected on what I am learning, I made a decision just to allow the situation to unfold. I just was myself, I didn’t try and pretend to be anything other than myself, and realised that I actually kind of like myself for who I am, and what I have done. It didn’t matter what people thought of me, I didn’t feel the need to justify myself anymore. I just relaxed, and observed, as I didn’t really know that people there, and had always assumed that people weren’t that interesting. You can guess what happened.
Within about 5 minutes, I joined into a conversation about someone’s top, and phenomenally, in the blink of an eye I was having a wonderful conversation with someone who had gone to the very same university school, and was pretty awesome. That evening ended terrifically. I went out with them into town, I met more delightful people, and with seeming ease, I also met an absolutely outstanding woman, whom I will be seeing again. I was, just for a moment, myself, and low and behold, myself seemed to be pretty all right to others.
In that one experience, I can draw from a very important life lesson, that actually you and I, whatever we may think of ourselves, are actually all right where we are. There is nothing to be changed other than our attitudes, everything else will come naturally. In that moment, I was free. The moment you accept yourself, you’re free too.