Relationships are complex, and yet so simple.
Yesterday, I learned something quite poignant for me, which seemed to make a huge difference to my interaction and mood at a family get-together at my Dad’s house. We had Aunt’s and Uncles over, as well as my 93 year old Granny. For me, family gatherings have always been a little boring. I really struggled to find topics of interest that matched between me and my Aunts and Uncles and even cousins to a degree. It always, up until now felt slightly awkward, and slightly draining. However, over the last 6 months, with what I’ve been studying with Abraham Hicks I figured that I would apply their most fundamental and basic concept to what is normally an uninspiring interaction. I got happy (its a youtube link so watch your sound). In fact, before they arrived I went into the bathroom, and just looked at myself in mirror, realising that what we like or dislike about ourselves is reflected back to us in others. So I decided that no matter what happens I like me. I like many things about me, and if I can learn to really like me, then I can certainly find things I like about my relatives. Already I felt better, in a strange kind of way. Needless to say, the afternoon was fun! Possibly the best gathering yet. I actually enjoyed it for what it was. Ideas started popping into my head, I wanted to ask more questions, I wanted to get to know the real people behind what they did, where they lived, or who they knew. It was truly amazing.
An idea I got from a recent TEDx (Thanks Amy Walker for the inspiration) talk really worked. Instead of asking what a person does, ask what they are interested in right now? What are they reading? What excites them? (obviously don’t ask them all at once, as they’re pretty much the same question with mild variations).
We often don’t relate to a job, but we do relate to being interested about something. Immediately a stronger connection is born, and a pleasing experience ensues. Its not about what others feel about us, its what we feel about others. Our self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and beauty of this is we can practice every day to feel a little better about ourselves than we did yesterday. In these little increments its surprisingly easy to keep it up. I’m doing it right now. Find that feeling inside, its honestly what counts more than anything.